Farming means you sometimes have to do the unbelievable.

As I’ve already posted here, we got pigs on the farm. Two of them, small and of unknown age. We have grown to really enjoy the pigs, well I have. They make the most adorable noises and do the most interesting things. I like how excited they are to see us and how they sniff our shoes to smell the dogs (just like the dogs sniff our shoes to smell the pigs). Their eyes are almost human as well.

B.L.T has become quite comfortable being petted by us. He is a very friendly pig. Rocker-Digger isn’t as friendly but he’s not as skittish as he was either. At least he was getting to know us. He probably hopes I trip so he can chew my leg off now. What do I mean by that? Well we had our pig’s anus sown shut.

I’m amused just typing that. I shouldn’t be amused, it was awful, but it is kind of, sort of, funny. So I woke up to a nice snow on November 17. I went to feed the pigs and noticed the most awful thing on R-D. He had part of his anus hanging out of his butthole. I’ve tried to think of a nicer way of saying this but it can’t be done. It was bloody and big and red and be thankful I didn’t take pictures. It was nasty. I run inside and hit Google to find out what is going on. Anal Prolapse (don’t click on that unless you want to see graphic pics). I do some reading and it appears that you can push it back in and it’ll be ok. It is also suggested that spraying it with cooking spray may help it go back in naturally. So I grab some rubber gloves, cooking spray and what little dignity I have and go out to shove my pigs butt back into his body. I try to trick him with some hot oatmeal. He does want to eat it but not enough to let me touch his butt. I’m chasing him about when Husband comes in and helps me corner him. The internet had said to be rather gentle. So I tried gently pushing it back in but it wouldn’t budge. So I spray it generously with cooking oil.

We go inside and I decide that perhaps I should just call a vet to see what they think before going to work. I do and JEES. It’s far more serious than the internet led me to believe. The vet tells me to go back out, hold the pig up by his hind legs and shove his anus back in like I’m folding socks. I repeat this many times as I can’t quite believe what is about to happen. Husband goes back out with me and we play chase and wrestle with R-D until he is finally captured and hoisted up by his back legs. I shove his anus back in and it actually works. I’m so relieved. Husband lets R-B go and as soon as his feet hit the ground, POP, it’s out again. Crap! The vet said if that happened we’d have to sew it in.

I call the vet back and hours later we are at the vet, R-D very sadly in a cage in the back of the truck. The kids are with us and I have prepared them for what is to come. R-D is going to scream. He’s going to be in some pain. It’s ok though, we are going to make him better and we can give him extra juicy apples when it is all done. I  load the kids up with books and toys in the Vet’s office and Husband and I go with the vet to restrain R-D for the procedure. So Husband has R-D’s legs and I have what may be the worst half, the biting half. I’ve thrown a sheet over his head in what may be ineffective to stop biting but makes me feel better at the very least. I’m sitting on a bunch of pallets with R-D’s elbows stuck against my leg, one arm under his throat and the other over. I’ve got this pig in a wrestling move. Boy he really doesn’t appreciate the local anesthetic being applied. He is screaming, I can hear the kids crying from the other room, R-D’s thrashing as much as he can against us. It was a real work out. So the vet pushes his anus in and stitches his butthole closed. We are told to give him a suppository for a few days and to use mineral oil in his food so his stool is incredibly soft.

I help Husband load the kids up and off they go to work and Daycare. I remain to take R-D back home. When we got home I thought I was going to need help from our neighbor to get him out. However, as I’m preparing his seclusion center I see him alert and sniffing. I think he knows where he is. So I open the door to the cage and he slowly walks out onto the tailgate of the truck. I pick him up, he screams, BLT screams, everyone screams. I put him in seclusion and watch him as he gulps down his body weight in warm water. BLT is still screaming. He hasn’t figured out where R-D is yet, he just heard him yelling. When I left R-D was wearily laying down under the heat light I provided him. It was a hard day for him.

My day hadn’t even started yet. I shower and dress and go to work for a few hours before going home to check that everything is alright. R-D broke out of seclusion, figures. R-D hopefully will not have a relapse. If he does we were informed we’d just have to eat him. Life is tough when you’re a pig.

Interestingly this episode appears to have made R-D more friendly. I had no problem touching him and getting close to inspect him. I was sure this episode would make him terrified of us. Apparently touching his anus just brought us closer. HA!

Rocker-Digger (R-D)

B.L.T.

While I was taking pictures these chickens were fighting over sleeping position.

Meanwhile the peacocks were glaring at me from above.